Non-Christians and the Ten Commandments

I am responding here to something someone said on Facebook for two reasons.  One, I do not think it should go unchallenged and two, I do not believe that Facebook is the place to have this discussion.  I will be sending a link to the person in question, in order to give her a chance to respond.

In response to someone’s comment, she said about her opposition to gay marriage that, “It's just what I believe. Neither having to do with my religion or my political party.”  I asked her why, then, did she oppose it.  Her answer follows:

“Deja, if I examine that very very very hard, I eventually turn back to my upbringing and my families beliefs (which are based on religion and politics).
For me, it's in my heart. It's my inner voice, that right/wrong thing that I've tried to avoid listening too much of my life. The older I get, the more I understand that certain things are not good for anyone.
You know me. You know that I don't hate and that some of the things that I believe are contradictory to my own actions on occasions.
If you don't believe in the bible, do you still follow those basic 10 commandments? I like to believe most people really do regardless of their religious views. So if you do, and you aren't religious, how do you explain your belief system to others?”

The first thought that comes to my mind is that it seems that her opposition is a product of politics and religion, even if someone else’s.

The second thought is a response to the last paragraph.  I do not believe that the bible is 100% correct.  I believe, in fact, that it cannot be 100% correct but I do follow a number of the ten commandments.  Since I am not Christian (indeed, I’m not a monotheist at all), I break commandments one through four just by my beliefs.  I do follow the one to honor your parents, but I care a great deal for them and owe them a great deal; I know there are others who do not have such wonderful parents and I firmly believe in breaking off toxic relationships, regardless of who that relationship is with.  Breaking those commandments, however, has little impact on a large scale, so let’s take a look at the rest of them.  I will be paraphrasing.

Commandment number six is the biggie: Don’t kill anyone.  Concrete reasons; you hurt others and you hurt yourself.  You remove from this world a family member, someone who does or will contribute to society and change yourself irrevocably.

Next is no cheating on your spouse, or with someone else’s spouse.  Concrete reasons; again you are hurting others and, perhaps, yourself.  If it goes on long enough it will impact the other relationships, even if the cuckolded spouses do not know of the affairs.  There is the possibility for a break up of the marriage, which will in turn affect any children involved.  I would, however, like to add two notes to this one.  First, it is not detrimental if you have permission and all parties involved are open and okay with it, and have the option to discuss issues that may arise.  And two, adultery should not be against the law.  You cannot legislate morality.

Which brings us to no stealing.  When you steal you deprive someone of needed resources.  You lower trust in the community and that can lead to all sorts of problems.  False accusations (another issue we’ll get into in a minute), tensions that can cause larger problems, money wasted on investigations and, possibly, false arrests.

No making false accusations.  This can ruin people’s lives.  Someone arrested and falsely convicted has that stain on their record the rest of their lives, and no one will believe that he’s innocent.  And just the accusation of some crimes—child molestation, for instance—can destroy a person’s career and family.

No coveting.  By coveting, I imagine the bible means an obsessive desire, not just saying, “Wow, Bob’s car is nice, I’d love to have one like it,” and forgetting about it.  Obsession leads to problems if the person obsessing forgets about everything else, or hurts people in order to get what he’s obsessing over.  And there’s a whole other level of issues if the object coveted is another person.

So there we have it, concrete reasons why the major commandments—the ones around which laws are based—should be followed.  Try as I might, I can’t find one that covers homosexuality, itself, much less gay marriage.  If someone has one or more, I would love to hear them.  As I’ve said before, I am interested in a respectful exchange of ideas.  I cannot grow and learn if I never hear opposing viewpoints.

Gay Marriage in New York

First, let me say that I'm grinning from ear-to-ear.  It's about damn time!

Okay, now, let me ask some questions of my own.  One: Why is homosexuality immoral?  Because of the Bible?  Well, according to the Bible, so is divorce, eating shrimp, working on the Sabbath and wearing cloths of two different weaves.  According to the Bible, I could sell my daughter into slavery and have a clear conscience.  You have every right to believe that homosexuality is wrong, but at least have the balls to admit that you are picking and choosing.

Two: When you say you think marriage should be between one man and one woman, why?  Marriage has changed over the centuries.  It used to be all but slavery for women, it used to be illegal for a mixed-race couple to marry.  It's not the same institution it was even a hundred years ago, we change the definition to suit our needs.  Why not now?

Three: My daughter was raised by a tolerant father and an openly bi-sexual mother.  She just graduated from high-school with excellent marks, she is kind and intelligent and caring and a young woman I am very proud to know.  Meanwhile, one of her classmates is a bully who is verbally abusive over stupid things.  This person was raised by a heterosexual couple.  The parents' sexuality has nothing to do with how the kids turn out, it is how the kids are raised.

Four:  Why is a forty-year relationship between a same-sex couple (this is a couple I know personally) less deserving of legal protection than Larry King's ninth marriage?

Five: If God doesn't make mistakes, then why is He making more homosexuals?  You think it's not natural?  Then explain the Humboldt penguins in a German zoo, the male couple that have raised chicks.  You think it's not natural?  Then tell me when you chose to be heterosexual.  What?  You didn't?  Then why would you assume that homosexuals choose their sexuality?

The upshot is, yes.  You have a right to feel that homosexuality is wrong, just as you have a right to think that mixed-race couples are wrong, that smoking or drinking are wrong, watching movies, etc.  You do not, however, have the right to limit my civil rights and my right to protection under the law.  I feel that my own civil rights are rendered less meaningful when they are not extended to everyone.  Can you not extend me the same courtesy?